cleverjello's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chico Buarque :: Corrente Fuck yeah. We have high speed internet, Comcast baby! And then we have Comcast cable too, so now we have extra cable channels. I think it came with the whole internet-phone-cable package. Whatever. I'm fucking happy. Dude. I don't think I can go to Borders anymore. Everytime I go, I think about how bloody poor I am. I have roughly $11. I know. That's supposed to last me for three weeks. Oy. I don't know how I shall live. Can't wait to get paid though. My mom was telling me this bullshit about how I have to give my first paycheck to my parents, and they would give me some to keep and send the rest to my relatives back home. It's "tradition". Whatever. I'm not trying to diss on tradition on anything. But seriously. My brother didn't have to do that with his paycheck. Not his first one. And his first summer job paid more than mine does. He got over $700. My mom was all like, "You can't compare your brother." Uhh, why the fuck not? I don't want to come off as a major spoiled bitch but it's not fair if my brother didn't do it too. I'll be pissed as fuck if I only keep half or less. I better get at least 60%. I'm not even Nigerian---does the tradition even apply to me? I mean yeah, my parents are Nigerian. But that makes me Nigerian-American. Extra emphasis on the American. Because ultimately that's what I am. An American. Then a Nigerian. I never really came to terms with this before. But think about it: what the hell do I know about the Nigerian experience? I didn't grow up there, I wasn't born and raised there. Who am I going to identify with? An American, of course. At my summer program there was a conversation about this. About the fact that when you're younger you feel closer to your parents culture. I know I did. Because when you're younger, you're more attached to your parents. But as you grow older you develop your own identity. And usually it ends up being more American. I don't think I'm going to do anything the traditional Nigerian way. I won't be able to cook really well, probably. I bet I'll get married in my thirties. I won't be a subservient housewife who serves her husband and picks up after his shit all the time. I'll definitely have kids, cause I want some. But they won't be raised religiously. I personally am not a religious person at all. I believe in God, but I don't confine myself to a certain faith. The big one : I won't marry a Nigerian-American. I don't think my parents would mind that. The thing is, I don't even think I'll marry a Black person, period. I know my parents would mind that one. Probably. I think Black guys are pretty hot, as are men from other races. But I can't picture myself romantically involved with one. I really can't. I'll end up marrying a white dude or a Hispanic one (har har, said boy is Hispanic). When I think about it...I don't think any of my close friends will marry within their race. H_____ used to have this thing about not liking the fact that she's white. Even now, I CANNOT picture her with a white guy. At all. Either Black or Asian. Maybe an Asian-Hispanic dude. That's what her current "person of interest" is. Heena's always talking about how there aren't that many attractive Desi boys. No, she'd end up with a white dude. The guy she's currently crushing on is Jewish. And B_____. Well Christ. It's like, "no SHIT she'll end up with a White guy". Her major relationships were with White boys. 92% of the time, she's attracted to White boys. Caucasian long hair, semi-badboy rocker types. I would say that's who she likes. Either that or Caucasian, long hair, glasses-wearing, geeky-cool types. 7:07 p.m. - 07/03/08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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